Review of Mr Massagy


How did you beautiful people spend Valentine’s Day? Did a secret admirer confess their feelings to you? Perhaps your significant other invited you to a romantic dinner. In my case, February fourteenth was a solitary experience spent at home. The only love I received came from the virtual women that dated me in Mr Massagy. Developed by Green Lava Studios, this comedic dating sim is currently available to buy on the PlayStation Network and on PC via Valve’s Steam service. Who needs a girlfriend when video games can fill the void in your heart for the price of some Valentine chocolate?


Mr Massagy sees players assume the role of a Casanova named Johnny. The aim of the game is to swoon the bachelorettes that you meet on an app named Linger. Getting dates on said Tinder knockoff isn’t too difficult. In most cases the babes will accept your advances, providing that you select a suitable profile pic and accrue enough stars (earned each time you go on a date.) The dates in Mr Massagy are quick affairs were you respond to questions pitched by your love interest. Make a good impression and your date will invite you back to her place for a sensual massage.

To simulate the abovementioned back rubbing players are advised to place the PS4 controller on their shoulders, relax and enjoy the soothing vibrations. Lesbian players may prefer to rest the controller elsewhere… if you catch my drift. What makes Mr Massagy stand out from other games in the genre is the unorthodox roster of ladies available to flirt with. Some of the more colourful characters include a werewolf, an extra-terrestrial, a bovine nudist and a phantom surfer. If you have a fetish for inanimate objects fear not, because it’s also possible to go out with a body pillow and a jar of mayonnaise!


My rating for Mr Massagy is a two out of five. It’s not a great game, but I must admit to having some fun with it. The manner that the romantic rendezvous play out made me chuckle on several occasions, as they are so weird. I also can’t say that I regret my purchase, because the software is available to download for less than a fiver. On the graphical side of things, I would have to say that the artwork lacks polish. I did however like the character designs and must commend the artist for imbuing each girl with tons of personality. They did an eggs-cellent job of showcasing how bashful the mayonnaise is for example.

If I had to recommend Mr Massagy to anyone it would be to achievement hunters, as it offers a platinum trophy that can be acquired in less than two hours. One interesting feature that Mr Massagy boasts is online leader boards. High score tables are not something you normally associate with dating sims. If you are so inclined its possible to compete for the honour of most three star dates or longest massage. At the time of writing there is someone who has clocked 12,679 minutes worth of massage time with the body pillow. Evidently, no matter how lonely I was during Valentines, there are people out there who are even more desperate for affection.

26 thoughts on “Review of Mr Massagy

  1. Well…to relate I spent my Valentines Day in the exact same way. So yeah…🤔🤔 (erm…except for spending it with this game, I spent it with a book/movie 😂)
    Even I would still have been playing games, I don’t think I would have been interested in this one..and two out of five isn’t all bad I guess, but’s just not really my cup of tea…No matter what kind of massage it eventually comes up with lol 😂

  2. “Lesbian players may prefer to rest the controller elsewhere” OMG! Ahahahahahah and who wouldn’t love to date a a bovine nudist or a phantom surfer? That seems the dream! xD

  3. Hmm. Never quite sure what to make of stuff like this. While it looks a bit amusing in its own right, this kind of thing often seems to miss the mark in terms of the “parody” aspect by misunderstanding what the actual appeal of dating sims and romance-themed visual novels is. More often than not, it’s not the actual sensual/erotic encounters that are the reason people play them, but the characters, and this looks just a little too self-consciously silly for me to be able to engage with it fully!

    One game that really did nail the “Western dating sim” idea was HuniePop. While that was light on actual story, it understood that people wanted characters they could get to know and play favourites with. Looking forward to the sequel.

    • HuniePop is excellent. I gave it full marks, back when I reviewed it three Valentines ago. HuniCam was a bit disappointing (I’m not into clickers) but I am optimistic that HuniePop 2 will be top notch. Adding a fleshed out story mode to the followup would be a good idea.

      • I actually rather liked HunieCam. It took a bit of adjusting your thinking of to understand it — it’s less a clicker and more a “time management” game — but I ended up enjoying it a lot. Still preferred HuniePop though, can’t beat getting a girl off with the power of puzzles. (see also: Purino Party)

  4. Hahaha…… a body pillow and a jar of mayonnaise XD And wow someone must really love that body pillow hehe
    This sounds like one of the more decent dating sims 😀 I played a murder mystery dating sim and Glob it was disturbing. The guys in it were just complete psychopaths and fringing terrifying. If you choose the wrong option, they’d deal out a really twisted physical punishment (like biting you or trapping you in an ice cold shower). It was some weird messed up shite. 🙂

    • That game sounds weirder than hugging a body pillow for hours. What’s it called? I shouldn’t be surprised about a dating sim were the guys mistreat the love interest. Krystalina recently reviewed a bunch of smutty manga and most of them featured abusive boyfriends. Some women seem to like it rough I guess. May explain the Fifty Shades popularity!

      • It’s called Lust in Terror Manor-The Truth Unveiled.
        Minus the super creepy abusive guys, your stuck with. It’s actually quite a good murder mystery game to play on a tablet/phone. 😀

        Haha XD I really don’t get either. Pretty sure, if a guy actually treated a woman like they do in smutty manga and dating sims, he’d get a incredibly hard boot somewhere not too pleasant 😀

  5. Oh my… well, as long as you had fun, haha. Entertaining review!

    Meh to Valentine’s day, I say! Cheap Chocolate Day is much better. 🙂

    • At the end of that date she says something along the lines of “thank you for going out with me, most people wouldn’t date a… nudist.” If you mention she is a cow at any point she leaves in a huff.

    • Even though I am not the target demographic, I have tried to play a few otome games. I don’t care about who the main character hooks up with, but figure that the game can be fun if the story is good. Thus far though I have yet to find an otome game I like.

      • That’s cool. Maybe I should try otome games for the story. I only played one game and then got bored quickly. My brother was the one who recommended this type of game to me.

  6. Pingback: 3 Days 3 Quotes: Day 3 – Ryuji Tatsuya's Anime Corner

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