The virtual conveyor belt of simulator games shows no signs of halting production. In the past we have had Farming Simulator, Goat Simulator and Ninja Scooter Simulator (because back in the Commodore 64 days there was a market of people who wanted to recreate the experience of riding a child’s toy whilst wearing an oriental assassin’s mask.) Ridiculous sims remain in demand so step forth Oh… Sir! The Insult Simulator. At first glance this PC/mobile download resembles a badly drawn Street Fighter clone, complete with 1v1 battles were you must deplete your opponent’s health bar. Instead of hurling fireballs however the game has players hurling slurs at each other.
Oh… Sir! The Insult Simulator allows players to badmouth their computer or human beings. By navigating the main menu it’s possible to slag off the A.I in a one off duel or a five round tournament, which rewards victors with unlockable content. What the deuce? I thought these days extra characters were only obtainable by paying for overpriced DLC! If you would rather slag off a flesh and blood rival fear not because the game also allows gamers to challenge strangers online and friends locally. Be aware though that developer Vile Monarch is not responsible if said chums annul their friendship with you, after being subjected to a barrage of hurtful simulated abuse.
Each match begins with the onscreen characters feuding over some trivial matter. Some examples include an argument to decide who gets a vacant train seat or a complaint about a pet store selling a dead parrot. Calm down folks. No need to get mad… just buy a replacement bird from the shop in Notlob. Gameplay wise Oh Sir is reminiscent to Cards Against Humanity. Players take turns to use randomly drawn phrases like “your mother” “smells of” and “the Nazis” to construct an insult. The more elaborate the remark being dished out the more damage you will inflict upon an opponent’s ego. Watching the back and forth ill-mannered exchanges reminded me of politicians bickering in parliament. Heck, most of the characters even spout off their lines in comical British accents.
My rating for Oh… Sir! The Insult Simulator is a four out of five. Not only did the game make me laugh, but it is rather strategic too. Within the span of a fifteen second turn players need to build grammatically correct gibes and also have the foresight to sabotage a foe’s rude sentence by removing key words from play. Advanced tactics include combos, which are triggered by using the same slur multiple times (mocking someone’s son twice in succession for example will yield bonus damage.) Mentioning subjects that an adversary is sensitive to can also inflict extra harm. For instance, fashion conscious Mr Shufflebottom is weak to any comments ridiculing his bowler hat and decrepit Mrs Maggie responds poorly to death threats.
One concern I have with Oh Sir would have to be with its limited vocabulary. I imagine the game’s novelty will begin to wear thin after a few weeks play, were you hear the same insults over and over. The title’s life span isn’t a concern though, as I bought it on sale for just a quid. Even if you tire of the game after a couple of hours it is hard to feel short changed when the Steam download retails for just two Euros. At the very least Oh Sir functions as good stress relief after a bad day at the office. Venting frustrations online can be most therapeutic and it must be said that the profanities you’ll hear here are far wittier than the vulgar language one may come across in Call of Duty’s hot-tempered lobbies.