Bikini Warriors is a twelve-episode anime series based on Hobby Japan’s collectible line of sultry figurines. Various esteemed artists (including the creator of Black Lagoon) have contributed towards designing the busty statuettes, which are all themed on fantasy warriors. These barely clothed display pieces can fetch three digit retail prices… clearly the Japanese males who purchase them are feeling a tad frustrated with their nation’s pornography laws. It all makes zero sense to me. The land of the rising sun has a bustling industry revolving around smutty products and yet they censor nudity in adult films. Over here in the west you can bare all in movies, without repercussion, but if a video game features swimwear you can bet your bottom dollar that it shall get cut.
You cannot accuse the committee responsible for this anime adaptation of not pandering to their audience. Rather than concoct a Lord of the Rings epic style yarn featuring the titular Bikini Warriors, what we get is a series showcasing the aesthetic qualities of the cast. Expect plenty of bouncing mammaries, crotch close-ups and situations lifted directly from hentai. Seriously, one episode has a character consuming an aphrodisiac moments before being assaulted by a tentacle beastie. Even the animation team behind the project is subconsciously encouraging viewers to focus on chests. Studio Feel… come on guys buy these dolls so you can “feel” their jugs.
As plot isn’t a priority, the average running time of each episode is four minutes. What we have here is a dozen comedy skits featuring heroines who are named after DnD classes. The quartet in question are Fighter, Paladin, Mage and Dark Elf. Um… Dark Elf is technically a race not a class. Ah, never mind – she is just the token black character who brags a lot, but isn’t all that skilful. Fighter is the party’s leader. She is righteous, adventurous and a little dim. Mage is the youngest of the four and rather bashful. Her underage looks may explain why her undergarments sold for the highest fee in episode five. Last but not least is Paladin. Despite being a divine warrior she is rather kinky. Ah, whom am I kidding? Just listen to news stories featuring priests. Holy people are all dirty buggers.
My rating for Bikini Warriors is three stars. I was expecting the show to be a colossal train wreck, but surprisingly it managed to subvert my expectations. The series unashamedly delivers on the eye candy promised by its title, so if fan service is what you seek ye shall not be disappointed. What impressed me the most however was the creativity of the gags. The punch lines are funny and there’s a ton of observational humour poking fun at fantasy game conventions. The crystal staff episode, for example, will resonate with any players who have ever bought expensive gear that frustratingly becomes obsolete one dungeon later. There are also nods to how most side quests are nothing more than silly chores and how so called noble heroes tend to be more interested in rewards rather than saving the kingdom.
What prevents Bikini Warriors from earning a higher score are the final few episodes, which were less humorous than the preceding instalments. Episode one started strong by using RPG terminology to justify the protective merits of garments that reveal so much flesh. The finale however was a lame mock trailer, which somehow manages to shoehorn a cliffhanger into a series that has no discernable plot. That misstep aside, I can recommend Bikini Warriors to anyone who appreciates fantasy parodies. The show isn’t a huge time sink so the only barrier to entry would be the titillation, which some viewers may find unpalatable. Get off your high horses you prudes. There’s nothing wrong with fantasy fan service… providing that Gimli refrains from wearing a thong.