Review of Monster Monpiece

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Monster Monpiece is a digital card game created by Compile Hearts (makers of JRPGs such as Mugen Souls, Sorcery Saga and Hyperdimension Neptunia.) To be perfectively honest, the prospect of playing yet another video game involving cards isn’t particularly exciting. I have had my fill of Hearthstone, Guardian Cross, Yu-Gi-Oh and Solitaire (the infamous Windows time waster that ensures I never get anything done at the office.) Oh wait what’s this? Monster Monpiece’s decks are composed of cute anime girls? Hmmm interesting. Huh what’s that? You upgrade your cards by using the touchscreen to rub clothing off said gals? Awesome! Now you have my attention.

SYNOPSIS

The game’s story is set in the mystical world of Yafanir, which is populated by monster girls and humans. Monster Monpiece’s heroine is a young lass named May who is training at Kunaguvu Academy to become a Monster Master (basically a Pokemon Master, only that instead of using Pokeballs to summon critters you use cards to manifest cute girls.) When May’s best friend is brainwashed, by a masked deity who wants to shatter Yafanir’s peace, she is forced to venture forth on a quest to collect magical crystals in order to save the world. This may not be the deepest plot ever written, but as far as card games go it is pretty epic (it trumps Snap’s storyline any day.)

Gameplay involves travelling along the world map towards whatever city is marked with an exclamation point. Every time you venture into a new area there is a chance of acquiring new cards, getting gold from sacks that have been recklessly discarded by some unknown billionaire or triggering an encounter with hostiles who will challenge you to a card game. In order to triumph in the card duels you will need to reduce your opponent’s health to zero, which is accomplished by summoning feminine monsters onto the field and getting them to successfully assault your rival’s headquarters.

GAMEPLAY

The battlefield you play on is made up of three rows, which are each seven tiles long. Monsters can be summoned onto any of your home tiles by spending the required amount of mana. Players begin a match with three mana points and earn more points with each passing turn. Whenever your turn concludes your summoned monsters advance one square until they either hit your opponent’s headquarters or they bump into one of your rival’s creatures. When two opposing monster girls clash they engage in an epic catfight until one of the vixens emerges victorious. Clashes between opposing forces involve the use of swords, wands, magical tombs, bows and surprisingly no hair pulling (unlike when two slappers tussle at my local on a Friday night.)

I found Monster Monpiece to be enjoyable, as the matches are tactical without being overly complex. The cards at your disposal come in four types. Melee cards are generally the strongest whilst ranged monsters are weaker but have the ability to attack foes positioned two or more squares away. Supportive cards come in the form of healers and boosters that raise the attack power of allies. When choosing a move players are encouraged to chain a series of cards, of the same colour, to receive aura bonuses that award you extra mana and buff up your summoned creatures. Fusing two of your warriors together will strengthen them even further, which should come as no surprise to anyone who has watched the latter episodes of Dragonball Z.

VERDICT

My rating for Monster Monpiece is a four out of five. I found the game to be a lot of fun aside from the weak AI, which is easy to beat once you assemble a decent deck. That wouldn’t be too bad if you could challenge human players to a game, but alas the multiplayer lobbies are quite deserted. That’s a shame; especially as a number of the game’s trophies require winning an exorbitant amount of online matches. Why is no one playing this game? I was under the impression that sex sells. If so gamers should be flocking to this title in droves given that it features a mini game where you coerce monster girls to strip by rubbing their erogenous zones. Needless to say I would advice against playing this game in public. Furiously rubbing the Vita resembles masturbation (although I can only dream of being endowed with a Sony handheld sized phallus.)

3 thoughts on “Review of Monster Monpiece

  1. What do you mean? I play Monster Monpiece on the tube, wearing a big brown overcoat while breathing heavily all the time and nobody even looks in my direction. There is after all never a bad place to rub anime girls right?

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